Reply to DH is going to blow a gasket. Give me strength.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- what makes you so certain he won't be violent once you change your response to his tantrums? How can you know what he'll do when his behavior isn't just being accepted and overlooked until it passes? I think this is what some PP's are seeing that you are not.[/quote]

Op here. First, bc he knows I’m a scrappy b*tch and I would probably end him in a fight. :)

And second, for the same reason I go outside during a rainstorm and don’t expect to get struck by lightning. I suppose anything is possible but the odds of this ever getting physical are just...none. Seriously. We’re just not the Jerry Springer fighting types. But I don’t have the energy for any kind of fight right now.

fwiw I don’t slink off when these outbursts happen. I tell him it’s unacceptable and eventually he apologizes and it’s fine for awhile. With added stressors he’s quicker to anger (and I’m quicker to tears), and so I’m looking for ways to get through an argument without him shutting down/storming out. Again I don’t mean to excuse his behavior. I’m not. But I see this thread going down a very dramatic rabbit hole and I don’t want to derail some of the practical advice I’m getting.

And I know sometimes things get lost in translation via posts and I want to emphasize that I do appreciate the well intended concern. [/quote]

You didn’t describe yourself as a scrappy b**ch. you described yourself as very fearful of expressing your feelings to your DH and fearful of his reaction. You described yourself as, basically, spineless - both before your marriage and at present. You painted a very, very negative picture of your DH, and with our strong reactions you backtracked and basically said your tired and emotionally, he doesn’t scare you, you’re not actually *this close* to throwing in the towel.
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