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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t know about you, but my mom gets more time because she offers to HELP.

Like when I’m sick, she’s offers to take the kids so I can nap.

Or comes for an afternoon and take them to lunch and the park so I can go do things.

Or just ASKS, “Need any help this week? I can come watch the kids if you do!”

— I’d never turn down help, but MIL can’t be bothered. She’s never, not once, offered to just watch the kids on any terms that don’t benefit HER. In fact, once when I was dealing with a parent in the hospital and another who was injured at home, she asked when planned on accommodating HER!

So she is limited to the visits WE plan with her. But she’s welcome to come over anytime![/quote]

I agree with this. Problem is that my MIL sees that DH never needs help, so she never offers. We both work full time, but it was me doing the brunt of the work like being pregnant, recovering from child birth, breastfeeding at night and then struggling while my DH deploys. I get that she shouldn't offer to help me, but sometimes her grandkids need help and she doesn't offer to help them either. I guess if it was flipped and they were recovering from knee surgery, I'd either send DH or send a card .[/quote]

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