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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh this is definitely true. I feel bad for women who don't have daughters [/quote]

I don't need your pity, thanks.  My husband is a wonderful son.  He communicated the importance of keeping family close before we got married.  I cherish his mother and welcome her to stay for months at a time in my home.  She doesn't have daughters of her own, and I don't want her to feel society's (and your) bullshit pity.  I hope my sons will grow up with the same sense of love and commitment as my husband has for his family.[/quote]

It doesn't matter what he communicated.  No matter how much you cherish his mother, you cherish your own more.   Love and commitment to family does not automatically transfer to spouses, nor does it displace your blood parents. Unless you're an orphan.

Furthermore, if your MIL had daughters, you would not have persisted in this delusion.[/quote]

Your response implies that I inherently love my own mother more than my husband loves his mother.  So in your view, only daughters can love their mothers?  I hope you don't have sons.  It would be pretty awful to realize your mother thinks less of you because of your sex.[/quote]

No, my response states clearly - instead of implying - that assuming you're a normal person with a normal mother, you love your mother more than you love your MIL.

I mean, maybe you don't.  I really don't know you or your mother. For most normal daughters and mothers it happens to be true.

I happen to have both daughters and sons.  I made peace with the probability that I will have better access to my daughter's children than my sons' children, all other things being equal.  That's because my daughter will think of me before her MIL, and my sons' wives will think of their mother before me. [/quote]

Instead of accepting (and possibly encouraging) that dynamic, why don't you try fostering a better relationship with your sons now?  My point is that my MIL has access to my kids because her son gives access.  I don't play gatekeeper, and DH invites his mother to stay with us often (in addition to flying us all to see his family multiple times a year).[/quote]

I have an excellent relationship with my sons, thank you.  I don't believe you understand what I'm saying. I will spell it again for you.  A daughter will never love her MIL, no matter how great, as much as she loves her mother.  It is stupid to think you can compete. [/quote]

DP. What does love have to do with "access to grandchildren"? I hate the expression. Grandchildren are not commodities, FFS.

This makes me think it was a good thing to have kids later in life. By the time they marry and have children, I'll be so freaking old, I won't give a damn.[/quote]

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