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[quote=Anonymous]I wasn't spanked. I don't spank my kids. I also don't scream at them, drag them around by their arms, or abuse them emotionally.

I find spanking to be abusive, pure and simple. I don't care if you think you're disciplining your children gently. I don't care if you think that your methods are more effective or less harmful in the long run than other methods. I don't care if you think that my kids are spoiled. If you hit your child, ever, for any reason, I consider that abuse, the same way I would consider it abusive if you ever, for any reason, hit your spouse or your pet.

Spankers spend a lot of time justifying their behavior. First they say that sometimes, they have spanked their child in the heat of the moment when the child does something unsafe (e.g., ran into the street, spanked), and they justify this decision as being a) a decision that they made consciously (despite it being in the heat of the moment) and b) acceptable because it's a real safety issue and they don't use that method regularly. Then another spanker will chime in and say that when they spank, they do so without emotion - take child to a private place, explain why the child will be spanked, spank, and then hug them to "repair the relationship." How is this not teaching a child that someone can hit you to punish you but that it's okay as long as they then show you love afterward? If an adult woman came to you and said that her husband hit her because she did something that he disapproved of, but that it was okay because he did it in private, explained why he was going to hit her, and then hugged and kissed her afterward, would you not consider that to be a pretty messed up relationship with physical and emotional abuse?

If I found myself friends with someone who spanked her children and felt the need to qualify to me when, where, and how she hit her children, we would cease to be friends immediately.[/quote]

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