Reply to Requests from a Sibing who is there for Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if you choose a particular way, that is hard, but it's the way that is acceptable to you, but not to me. For example, a parent is refusing to accept hired help and you do it yourself. You talk to me about it. I don't offer physical help, only financial. You keep talking about how hard it is. I understand that you need to vent. I hope you don't expect that I will actually help physically. [/quote]

Just WOW!  Can you see that the PARENT needs help here not the sibling? I don't get the impression that the sibling is looking for someone to bathe mom, but she would LOVE you to visit regularly (not once a year), cook a meal, attend a doctor's appointment, run some errands, sit down and spend time with YOUR parent.[/quote]

As a local sibling, I'm the one who handles Dr. appointments, grocery shopping, banking, making sure parent is well taken care of in assisted living, etc. Sibling visits every 6 months or so and it's infuriating that they can't be bothered to visit more often. Sibling is only a couple hours away by car. No children.[/quote]

There's still a LOT that family members need to do for a person in assisted living. Yes, the facility would provide transportation to doctor appointments, but would the patient remember doctor instructions, medications taken, etc.? Sadly, some children put their parents into care facilities and forget their responsibilities to their parents. [/quote]

Doesn't assisted living provide help with daily meds?  If your mom had to attend a doctor appt by herself could you not get info about her appt and any care decisions made?  A lot of this stuff is done electronically now so you would pull up her patient account and check to see how things went.  The need for you to be physically present for every single appt  may not be necessary.  In fact, maybe you could delegate that responsibility to a sibling.

Usually assisted living places provide a lot of.....assistance...[/quote]

[b]Read up on assisted living. There are too many cases of abuse and mistakes. A loving family member needs to be very involved to ensure things are done properly[/b]. [/quote]

+100   Unless the family has the money, and it takes a significant amount, to hire oversight you do not want to know what the reality is in such a situation. I know via my profession. Even in the most caring facilities there is so much that would give you great pause. Nightmares. Having family present and involved IS the single factor that makes the difference in care.[/quote]

Amen. It's not okay to put a relative in assisted living and then expect to do nothing for that person. It burns me up, too when adult children don't visit and easily could. They'll manage to show up to the reading of the will![/quote]

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