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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have been in a long term affair (3 years) with a wonderful man.  He recently left his wife and wants to be with me "legitimately."  I am so in love with him and very badly want to leave my DH.  But I can't because my DH is a nice, loving partner.  I just have no romantic feelings towards him and don't know that I ever really did.  But that is another discussion and a mistake I made many moons ago.  Also, I have kids.  And while finances aren't an issue if we divorce, obviously it will tear their world apart going from a "seemingly" happy family to two houses.

Let this be a warning to others thinking about an affair, especially an emotional one (which most women seem to have), it isn't worth the heartache in the end.  I am now keenly aware of what I'm missing and will miss my entire life.  And for all those that say I'm just in the affair fog, nope, I'm not.  I am not thinking all would be perfect with AP if we were "really" together, blending families would suck, learning to live with someone new would be annoying, etc. [/quote]

Two questions:

If AP wasn't in the picture, would you seriously be considering divorce at this time?

When you say, "I don't know if I ever really did have romantic feelings for H" are you rewriting your marriage history? Be honest here...because rewriting history is very common and easy to do when enmeshed in an affair.

Personally, if you are truly thinking of leaving your H, end it with your AP then address your marriage with your full attention. Give your H some respect in terms of ending the marriage. If your AP truly does love you and want to be with you, he should understand.
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