Reply to Want to leave DH for lover

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He may not marry a much younger woman.  However, it is likely he will remarry.

OP - If you think that you are the best deal he will ever have, look at how you treated him and rethink that idea.  If you think you are best looking woman he will ever have, then you have much bigger issues than the ones you have laid out on DCUM.[/quote]

I don't think that at all.  If we split, I would want only happiness for him.  If it is with someone younger and prettier, that is fine.  So long as she makes him happy and is good to my kids.  I am not the devil that you all want to make me out to be.  And he hasn't been perfect, far from it.  I wouldn't have been susceptible to someone else if my marriage was going well.  He emotionally abandoned me and refused all my efforts to reconnect.  He finally is trying, but for me it seems to be too late.  [/quote]

"But I can't because my DH is a nice, loving partner."

Sounds like yo are trying to spin it into your favor for leaving now that you have heard mostly negative responses [/quote]

Lol. The bar for how bad a marriage needs to be before someone may cheat is always conveniently set by the charter.[/quote]
+2 yea, I read that part too and thought ?

OP, I think if you have given up on the relationship, then you should be honest with him and tell him that his efforts are wasted. You are being selfish here, or is this just your way of punishing him by making him put in the effort while you get to have fun?

I had a friend who cheated on her DH when he emotionally left the marriage, too.  But, she was ready to divorce him after years of her asking her DH to go to counseling with her.  By the time he said yes, she was more than halfway out the door.  They had been living as roommates, with him sleeping in a different room.  I gather your marriage is not at this point, right?    So, while I understand that when one spouse checks out of the marriage, the other one is left to flounder and seek solace elsewhere, you should at least be at the  point where you are ready to divorce and not letting the other side think the marriage still has a chance.

If you want to leave, then you should tell your DH now so that he doesn't put any more effort into the marriage.   I'd be pissed if I found out that my spouse was thinking of leaving while I was trying to make the marriage work.[/quote]

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