Reply to i want to become a SAHM, but we can't afford it

Forum Index » Jobs and Careers

Reply to "i want to become a SAHM, but we can't afford it"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand this post. Your husband's salary is enough to SAHM. It does not have to be forever. I say this as someone who is 40 and worked full time until last year when my kids were 2 and 5. I now freelance part time to pay for personal things (my haircuts, my Starbucks, my clothes, etc). My husband makes the same as yours. I will go back in a few years or ramp up my freelance work and never go back again. I had enough money in my own retirement to step back. I have not noticed any financial difference in our quality of life. I am much happier. I have to say the elementary grades are harder schedule wise than younger kids. When my kids were younger and I was working, they stayed up til 9 pm, so I had time with them in the evening. I had a full time nanny so they could sleep til 8 am.

I would move or get a new job. Your commute is long. Or really re-evaluate. I think you have enough income to SAH,[/quote]

Do you realize how much privilege is implied by your post?[/quote]

Previous poster here at which the “privilege” comment is directed….

I don’t come from a place of “privilege”—did you miss the part where I said my husband makes the same amount as OP? Did you miss the part where I said I WORKED until last year full time? The reason I have enough in retirement is because I maxed it out since I was 21! Me. The reason I had a nanny? Because she watched my kid while I was WORKING and I paid her from MY salary. I could have chosen, daycare but did not. Schedule-wise, I wanted a nanny and not deal with drop off and pickups. People make different childcare choices….yes, one costs more.

Let me just add, I worked 2-3 jobs until I had my first kid at 34. I was working 50-65 hours a week. Until age 32, I did not eat meat to save grocery bills and had a roommate to save money. I paid off a $70,000 college debt between age 21-32 and I had to have mulitiple jobs to make the $700 payment a month—which I often overpaid…the last year I overpaid a ton to get it paid off. I finished college in 1999 when it was unheard of to have that debt…my parents refused to pay anything. I had to take out private loans to cover their “expected family contribution” as the federal government determines financial aid, so my loan amount ballooned. Transferring would have done no good. Public would not have been cheaper. I had a scholarship at a private and going to public, I would have paid the same as private due to the scholarship.

My point is, my husband and I lived on his salary after we were married purposefully, which was less than 160k at the time. My salary was used for saving and my own personal stuff (my own clothes, my own haircuts, my own fitness membership), and childcare when children came along.

We just got rid of an 18-year-old car. Our other car is 5 years old. We own a home. No one helped us with a down payment or a wedding or anything like that.

I said the OP can live off of 160k. I know because we do it and I work a tiny bit now for extras but because I want to pay for those myself out of my own pride.

What is privileged is someone saying that their family of 3 can’t live on 160k--not what my post said. Many people do it with a lot less.

That said, I would probably not give up a government job if I were OP—I would probably move closer in. Or, I would find a new job. But if this is just about the money, 160k for a family is doable, even in this area. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics