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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why can't you stay at home on $160K?  You live in a condo so your mortgage can't be that expensive.  [/quote]

We need guaranteed insurance because my husband has MS and his medication is very expensive. Maintaining my job with the feds (and particularly my job in the intel community, with its essentially guaranteed job security, rather than a job at another federal agency) is therefore critical. I know people have said I'm making excuses, but that's why I can't go part-time or work from home. My job doesn't allow a work from home option and it is intensely frowned upon to go part-time. [/quote]

OP, I understand.  My husband likewise has MS, and I felt *exactly* as you do 18 years ago, when my DS was almost 2yo.  We went on to have a second child, and my kids are now almost 20 and 17.

You are right that you need guaranteed insurance, particular with the political landscape that currently exists.  I would treat that as a non-negotiable.

You are also right that you need to hang in there and keep building, or at a minimum maintaining, your career.  18 years ago, my DH would get tired and have some MS symptoms, but fast-forward a couple of decades and his symptoms have progressed.  He can now only walk short distances, and needs 10+ hours/night of sleep.  I don't know how much longer he can work.  But if he has to retire tomorrow, we will be ok.

Like you, I hung in there with my career because I didn't have a choice.  Over time, contrary to what some PPs say, it *did* get easier.  The kids become more self-sufficient, and can stay up later.  My workplace became more flexible.  (Yours will, too, over time.)  Nowadays, I am very happy that I was forced to hang in there, because we have financial stability thanks to my career.

All that said - you could consider going part-time and stalling your career progress for a few years.  If you can afford it, I do not see the harm in that at all.  I did that when the kids were younger, and it helped a lot.  It also helped my marriage because I felt less put-upon by our circumstances.

Also contrary to a PP's assertion, I do thank feminism for this.  If I didn't have the ability to support my family as I do, we would be in much worse shape.

You will be ok, OP.  Really, you will.[/quote]

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