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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The friendship, meh. As long as there is parity or some solution both people are really okay with, then I don't see the problem with it. So some couples will be like Mike Pence and other couples are going to be a-ok with it. And that's the thing. I really and honestly don't think those couples are on the road to divorce because she's letting him hang around with hussies, and that he's a cuck because he's letting her close to some BBC.

All these, I think, are within the bounds of normalcy. Again the key is that both partners are equal in their expectations from the other, and that both partners are really and truly okay with the solution that gets hammered out. There's a range of normal expectations couples can have from each other -- problems can come up if both partners are within the bounds of normalcy, but just disagree.

I do have a few female FB friends I'll message from time to time but would not *dream* of meeting face-to-face w/o my wife.

But to me -- the daily texting, the preponderance of textings/messages coming from your DH, and the such -- all that screams that he has some unresolved feelings for her, feelings you don't think are compatible with a marriage. And -- that's ok. It's normal to feel that way. It's within the bounds of normalcy to  be bothered by that -- and just because some other wife is all cool with her husband doing something similar doesn't mean YOU have to be cool with it. I don't think you're being a screaming jealous nag by being worried with things as you describe, ESPECIALLY if he is squirrely about this woman, won't let you meet her, etc. [/quote]

Addressing this presently in my marriage. Husband has a work friend of many years who recently got divorced. Daily texting and recently a lunch date (while I was out of town) he became defensive about when asked. I'd had no idea of this prior. Apparently the friend gives him marriage advice and wants things to work out with us, but the current level of emotional attachment is an issue. I have told him I appreciate he has a friend but that recently lines have been crossed that betray my trust.

He keeps saying "it's just a friend" and he's never cheated, etc., and I had to explain that my level of discomfort makes this an issue. He's socially awkward and not attuned to the unwritten rules of male-female relationships when there is at least one marriage involved. I told him he has to tell her he has crossed a line and that he needs to limit contact in order to work on things at home. I can't believe how awful this feels. [/quote]

I assume you lack confidence in the state of your marriage otherwise this would not be a big issue. I would tell them that since she is recently divorced she may have interest in being more than just a friend and that he needs to think about that. [/quote]

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