Reply to Ok to vacation without all the kids?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Ok to vacation without all the kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP, another way to frame this.  Suppose you had biological children ages 10 and 12, then had a 3 year old.  5 years ago when your children were 5 and 7, you took the older ones to Disney and they had a wonderful time.  Now you have a 3 year old who wasn't born during the last trip.  You only have enough money to take three of you to Disney.  Would you send your older two children to your mother's house and let them spend the week at Grandma's while you took your new baby to Disney because he's never been?

You are creating the dynamic that his first children are not as important or as loved as their younger brother.  Do you want to be that mother?[/b]
[/quote]

See, I think that would be a little bit more okay.  The big kids could go to camp or something.  But it's totally different, because in that scenario, nobody is doubting their place in the family.  It's more like, if you had 3 bio children, and two of them had to live in a facility for medical reasons and didn't get enough time with their dad and sibling, would you still exclude them?  No, you would care about them and want them to have dad time and brother time.

Children of divorce have to schlepp between two complicated situations that are fraught with loss, and potentially where they are unwelcome.  Two of those doesn't add up to one happy home.  They are always going to wonder if you really want them around.  And, don't forget, there are lots of times when they would be happier and more relaxed without you around.  Do you want to be included by them, even when they feel that way?  Then include them when you don't want to.  If they are really full-fledged members of your household, they should feel like you want them to be there.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics