Reply to Help me make this work / tell me what to do so I don't burn bridges

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, thanks all!  I just wanted to make sure my initial "not a f*cking chance" reaction wasn't just me still being a bit pissed at her from her previous visit.  DH is going to tell her I'm willing to nurse her in a room away from everyone (easier anyways since DD is starting to get really distracted while nursing these days) but if she insists I not nurse at all, we won't be coming over.  He's confident she'll choose having us at her house over her intense dislike of breastfeeding but if not, he's more than willing for us to follow through and not go over.  He's actually much more willing to say a categorical hell no to her request than I am.[/quote]

Bravo to your DH for doing his job as dad and husband and for having your back!

Too often these posts end along the lines of "...and my DH just won't stand up to his mom...."

I would discuss with DH in advance what his script will be for when MIL protests. It's good to plan out some stock lines he will use, so he's not winging it in the heat of the moment when baby's fussy with hunger and you're anxious to get into another room to feed. Things are less likely to end in an argument if he and you are prepped with how you'll both respond every single time. And yes, get the other relatives primed in advance to say they're fine with your feeding your baby.

Also, anticipate that if MIL is really passive-aggressive she might suddenly protest, as you get up to feed the baby, that the guest room's too full of stuff for you to use and it would be gross to feed in the bathroom so, oh well, you'd better just make a bottle....I agree with the PP who said, do not take any formula but stick to your baby's breastfeeding schedule.

Your DH may need to get his mom alone for a firm talk about how breastfeeding is non-negotiable and not a topic open for discussion. He should have that talk alone with her and should be clear that HE, not you, is saying this. She needs to hear this from him and know he is the one who will pull the plug on the visit of she doesn't shift her focus off the breastfeeding. [/quote]

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