Anonymous wrote:We are going to be visiting my in laws for the weekend with our 4 month old. We're going to be staying at a nearby hotel as BIL and his family will be staying with MIL/FIL but the plan was to spend our days at their house and only go back to the hotel at night to maximise time with the family. MIL just informed DH that I am not allowed to breastfeed at her home due to our niece and nephews being there so we should bring formula for the weekend. I'm not opposed to formula in general but I'm not willing to go 10+ hours a day without breastfeeding DD (I can't even imagine how uncomfortable I would be by the end of the day). We're not going to cancel the trip as this will be the first time BIL and his family will get to meet DD and I'm pretty sure they don't have anything to do with this request.

MIL was a serious pain in the butt about me breastfeeding when she visited right after DD was born, including getting mad every time I had to take DD to nurse her claiming I just wanted the baby to myself, etc. I'm still harboring some resentment over that and I'm having trouble believing this request isn't related to her previous complaints. All of this is a long way of saying I'm not confident that I'm capable of being particularly rational or kind in my reaction to her request. I'm really tempted to have DH just tell her we won't be coming to her house at all and will arrange to spend time with the family out and about at some parks and whatnot but this is the pettier option. Alternately, I can pump in the morning before leaving the hotel (which would generally provide enough milk to get us through about lunchtime) and we can spend time at her house until then, leaving as soon as DD needs to nurse after we've used up the morning pumped amount and then spend the afternoons being out and about.

So what say you, DCUM - what is the best course that doesn't leave me in pain from not nursing all day, enforces a healthy boundary with MIL, while also respecting her house/her rules? DH hasn't responded to her yet and will go along with whatever I want to do and will be the one to tell her what we decide.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pump or nurse in the morning before you leave the hotel. Have your DH tell MIL that you will need a private place (bedroom) to nurse - so niece and nephew won't see (f'ing weird btw) for the rest of the day. If this can't be accomodated, you and baby go back to hotel in the afternoon for nurse/nap time if there are not plans away from the house. Good luck, she sounds like a peach.

I'm rereading the OP's post, and this isn't going to work. The mil is mad that she has to take the baby into another room and wants the baby all to herself. (So she thinks. Gag)

That's the reason she wants a bottle. So even if she goes into another room, as I suggested in another post, that doesn't solve the issue.

OP just go ahead and nurse right in front of everybody and don't worry about it or don't go. Your mother-in-law cannot draw this line and you should not accommodate this one in any way shape or form

Anonymous wrote:Ok, thanks all! I just wanted to make sure my initial "not a f*cking chance" reaction wasn't just me still being a bit pissed at her from her previous visit. DH is going to tell her I'm willing to nurse her in a room away from everyone (easier anyways since DD is starting to get really distracted while nursing these days) but if she insists I not nurse at all, we won't be coming over. He's confident she'll choose having us at her house over her intense dislike of breastfeeding but if not, he's more than willing for us to follow through and not go over. He's actually much more willing to say a categorical hell no to her request than I am.