Reply to Are you okay with your husband going out drinking and dining alone with other women?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Are you okay with your husband going out drinking and dining alone with other women?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I travel semi-frequently for work doing communications, often with men. We have breakfast and dinner 1:1 and on some occasions we need to use a hotel room to conduct an interview in a quiet space. Nothing untoward has ever happened. [b]People are going to cheat or they are not going to cheat[/b] -- meals and proximity of a bed have nothing to do with it. Just see all the stories on here of people having sex in cars and empty stairwells (!) in the office...

Totally ridiculous. I would be at a huge disadvantage in my job if my bosses or I subscribed to this theory.[/quote]

While I think the Pence rule is extreme and is based on a backwards notion of female sexuality, I also think your statement is naive.  There are a lot of people who wouldn't normally cheat but if presented with an opportunity (meaning it's easy to do it and highly unlikely they will ever be found out), there are people who would go along with it.  Sad to say, but it's true.  I've known men and women like that.  They would never look for ways to cheat and think they would never cheat, but if they are in a situation where they can easily have a one-off and then no one ever knows, they don't necessarily have the moral fortitude to say no.

But that has nothing to do with female sexuality or women being "temptresses" (as I suspect Pence's rule is based on).  That has more to do with the reality that a lot of people not really have a strong sense of doing the right thing, even when they can easily get away with doing the wrong thing.

This doesn't just relate to infidelity in marriage.  There is a sociologist who has conducted studies on this, and it also relates to cheating on tests or even stealing.

It's sad, but true.

I think the key is, though, not about policing your spouse's action but choosing a spouse who puts a really high value on ethical as an in and off itself.  So the hints are if your potential spouse is okay with casual lying out of convenience or if your potential spouse ever says "eh, no one will ever know" in response to doing something that might be just a little bit wrong.  That kind of attitude is generally a red flag that even if the person doesn't look to cheat, they wouldn't hold up well if an easy opportunity presents itself.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics