Reply to how could I have handled this better -- found self in argument with both DS, 3 and DH

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "how could I have handled this better -- found self in argument with both DS, 3 and DH"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your DS asked you not to touch him, your DH asked you not to touch him. Do you think that just because you're mom you have carte blanche to touch everyone?[/quote]

I am not OP but I actually do feel like in my family I have a carte blanche to touch other people without being looked at like I have two heads. I touch DD all the time. Sometimes she pulls away and thats ok. I touch DH all the time. Sometimes its romantic sometimes it's not. Sometimes its lingering and sometimes its not.

NEVER it is met with an intense, 'get your hands off of me right now.'[/quote]

My read here is that OP is very focused on her own POV/needs.  My guess is that OP and her DH have very different ways of expressing affection and very different temperaments and ways of communicating and that DS is more like dad than mom.  I have a sensitive, introverted kid who is a lot like me and isn't very expressive.  He is really bonded with me and I know it hurts his dad when DS only wants me for comfort, but the more DH fights DS's preference, the worse it gets.  DS wants me because I am in tune with him and intuitively know what kind of comfort he needs.

What you need, OP is to stop trying to comfort your kid in a way that feels good to you and start observing, listening to and learning about the kid you actually have.  My guess is that you often try to force both your husband and your son into your own preconceived mold and that both of them are reacting to that controlling behavior.[/quote]

If op is accurately relating what her DH said and there is no history or abuse in their relationship then I'm just really having trouble coming up with any interpretation of this incident that goes in the husband's favor. She might be needy, he might not respond well to that. It doesn't excuse treating her like she assaulted him and then demanding she apologize for it.

And once again I would say the same thing if the genders were reversed. It is simply not appropriate to frame non aggressive physical contact from a spouse as abusive. If nothing else it signifies SERIOUS problems in the marriage. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics