Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thanks for the perpectives.  Especially the thoughtful one noted previously.

I do want my husband to be happy in job - which is why I've supported him doing so for so long. But right now my focus has shifted from him having a job he loves to our kids being able to go to good/decent public schoolsand to be able to host grandparents / siblings from out of state, hosting our own holidays, building equity, belonging to a community where people stick around   I'm willing to move out of this expensive area to realize that since after 10 years we haven't figured out how to make it work. Both jobs are downtown w tough commutes to cheaper areas.

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Honestly, while I get what you are saying about having more space to host grandparents and holidays, however I feel like there is a missing piece to your story.  I'm guessing like a PP that you are making at least 150-160K combined.  If you go on the real estate board or financial board you could probably get targeted advice to optimize the money you make  and either places to rent or buy a SFH/townhouse with a reasonable commute.  We have friends that purchased homes in Silver Spring, are renting their home in Bethesda, that have moved further out to Gaithersburg, that have opted to move to Prince George's county etc.  So unless there is a missing piece of the financial picture, the only thing holding you back from moving out of a small apartment is you, not your DH. No, you aren't going to get everything in terms of commute, space, affordability, and schools but we all compromise on something.  If you aren't willing to compromise in commute or space, then you either spend more in rent to be in the  close-in more expensive cluster you want or you look for the school that you can live with that might be well rated (7 or 8 on great schools) like Oakland Terrace, or investigate if there is a school the might be a hidden gem in an even more affordable neighborhood. [/quote]

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