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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again. Wow, lots more responses when I had just presumed it would be a relatively short thread.

OK so here's where I am.

I appreciate all the posts on why it's great to travel and how much I would be missing out on, etc. I actually get that. I am grateful for travel experiences I've had in my life (and outside of the trips I mentioned with my kids I forgot to say I've also been to both soviet and post-soviet Russia, Australia and South Africa (for a wedding), pre-kids). So I don't feel I am missing out. And even if others think I am missing out, how am I harming your day by just wanting to stay home?

For those who think I'm closeting myself with all the pets, I freely admit it. I love animals and couldn't have any pets growing up. You can absolutely bet that the moment we closed on a house, I was right there at the shelter. I'm not at Lisa Vanderpump level with swans or anything but I love my pets and when I travel I worry about them. It's just another anxiety.

I've lived a productive life until now, but my basic question is doing something contrary to what my daughter wants, not asking for dcurbanmom to solve my travel anxiety. I have travel anxiety. I have traveled in my life anyway. I just don't want to go to India.

With regard to grandchildren, that's different. I would absolutely overcome my discomfort zone for that situation. But right now, i just get a headache trying to figure out a trip to India with a senior (her younger brother) applying to college and having to do all those visits to his acceptances in the short term and it's just too much damned traveling right now. It's a lot of things wrapped up together.

I think you are all right that I should just frame it in terms of all the issues - it's not the right time, too much to do here, it's not a time I want to travel so far away and I might even ruin your experience and damage our relationship if I don't have all the right reactions you expect.

In any event, getting therapy now is not going to change me in a few months.[/quote]

I don't understand the angst and why DCUM is giving you grief. Just say no. You are the parent here - she can't MAKE you do anything. Just say it doesn't work for you - DD you already know I don't like traveling and India most certainly is not at the top of my list, esp given everything that I need to do here esp with your brother going off to college in a few months, right now it's more important that I travel with him to visit schools not go on an international vacay.

FWIW - I'm Indian and I dislike the thought of going to India. India in the summer - get ready for 110 weather with humidity. You never feel safe eating anything. And it's generally a dirty, gross country - save for the very lavish 5 stars but presumably once you get there your DD wouldn't want to spend 4 days with you in the Ritz, she'd want to take you all over to show you her life. Uh - no thanks, she can show you the pics.[/quote]

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