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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I think you should go. A lot of this is about her having memories of her mom traveling with her.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for all the opinions, I appreciate them.

Just as a response to the above, I wanted to add that fortunately we do have those memories, I've traveled with her many times over her childhood. Two Europe trips, one to China, many cross-country trips for travel teams. I hope it's why she actually loves traveling! Just because I don't like it doesn't mean my kids shouldn't like it. (Just like skydiving. I don't care if anyone else does it. It's just something I'm at peace with never doing.)

Part of my travel anxiety stems from having divorced parents who constantly lived in different places and my siblings and I were constantly mixed and matched and sent where the other parent happened to be, at their convenience. I spent a lot of time being placed on flights to places I hadn't seen before, being put on trains, having strangers pick me up. I grew up never really having one home where I could stay at any given time. We were all also sent to boarding schools as soon as we were old enough. (Ironically, boarding school was a place I consequently loved because, like college afterwards, it was one single, consistent place I could be for 4 years except for summers.)

Once I got past the years of being single, changing jobs, the game of musical chairs with roommates and apartments, one of my very specific life goals was to settle in one place. Just like some people yearn to be free to travel, I yearned to be free to be able to just do my thing and stay home.

I literally have zero against India, and understand she just wants to enjoy time with me,[b] but it is just time I would not enjoy, and I highly suspect I might even spoil some of her good memories as it would be obvious I'd be counting the minutes to be able to get out of there and go home again. I know she's trying to blast me out of my comfort zone and thinks it's good for me, but I'm really done all the improving of my character that I'm going to be doing. [/b]I just want to gently coast into the finish line.

Ok sorry for the personal psychological analysis but I hope it makes sense to you guys.

Thanks again.[/quote]

I think this is 100% correct OP. I also think you are wise to know that it isn't going to work. [/quote]

The fact is, while you can guess how you might likely react, there are no guarantees how you will actually react.  I worked in the South Asia Bureau for years at the State Department and worked in India on several occasions.  I lived in Bombay for half a year, and traveled all over on many different trips.  My mom and I had traveled together many times in Europe and Hawaii, but she HATES crowds, downright abhors them, as well as disliking chaos.  She had zero interest in India and made it clear.  I never pushed it.  Well, at 71 she ended up going on a group trip there, and she almost cancelled the night before due to a terror alert, yet somehow went on to get on the plane and.... she hated it.  Just hated it...the first few days.  But guess what?  It grew on her, as India often does on people, and after her two week trip, she felt transformed in a way no other trip had done.  And she is a total Francophile who lives in Paris each summer, so it's not like she hasn't bonded with other cultures.  India was magical for her.  She is still riding the high off her trip last November.  My point is - don't go if it makes you feel comfortable to stay put, but do not assume you will have a horrible time.  Everyone is shocked by the smells, sights and senses of India at first.  It can be repelling in ways you never see here.  But it also has a humanity that you will never witness in most other places on earth.   And like my mom, it just may change your life.[/quote]

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