Reply to Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous]I know people that talked about it pre marriage. The husband told her he wouldn't want to know if she cheated so long as it stopped. The wife to be told him that she would only divorce him if one of their kids died because she didn't think she could handle recovering from that.

12 years later he holds firm on the cheating stance. She's now thinking maybe their marriage could survive a child dying.

To each their own?

My friend's husband had an affair and she found a few text messages. She did not want any other details. At all. She wanted to stay and work on the marriage and felt it would be better to not know every torrid detail.

I agree with pp that having the conversation pre-marriage is good. Acknowledging human nature and its flaws and bringing it in the open and allowable in conversation is good. How many marriages could be saved if the spouse was comfortable talking about initial attractions to others and what that means. I also think ANY deal breakers should be discussed dating or married.
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