Reply to Is it selfish to tell dw about an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Go tell your therapist. Therapists are paid to listen to your problems. And work with the therapist on the reasons why you did it, and to eliminate your personal weakness.[/quote].

No time to read all replies above but OP, you need solo therapy to dig into WHY you were weak and how to develop strength not to cheat (or do other selfish things that would damage the marriage you do want to keep and nurture). Therapy, now, ongoing. A good therapist is where you work out whether to tell your wife -- please don't try to work that huge decision out online, based on what random strangers say here.[/quote]

This is good advice.  The question as to whether you should tell her can be explored in therapy.

I have experience as a DW, not told but discovered it with two different husbands.  My personal opinion is that it is better not to tell.   It was terribly painful to discover it the first time but hearing it directly would also have hurt immensely-- I would have been far happier not knowing at all.[/quote]

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