Reply to What do you think of leaving a 2-3 month old behind so you can travel?

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Reply to "What do you think of leaving a 2-3 month old behind so you can travel?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with others that you sound incredibly selfish. 2-3 months is too young and putting too much on the grandparents. I'd have a different opinion if the baby would be 6 months and older, but 2-3 months just isn't the right time. [/quote]

totally disagree.  [b]at 2-3 months the baby is barely conscious[/b] and really has little idea who is taking care of him/her as long as they are loving.  If OP is confident in the grandparents caregiving there is absolutely no reason she shouldn't do this.  [/quote]

Oh FFS.  The bolded is SO untrue.  Freaking newborns can discern the difference between their mothers and other people, and you think a three month old is barely conscious?!  SMH.

This favorite DCUM notion that young infants can't tell who takes care of them is such garbage.[/quote]

Right, and I bet you think it's child abuse to go back to work at 3 months, too.

Guess what -- [b]I'm a mother, and in my actual experience, it's much rougher to leave a child when they are at an age to actually notice you are gone and really miss you (18 months or so) than an infant. [/b] If OP feels like a few days' break is going to be helpful for her and her family, and that she has good childcare, it's totally fine.  It does sound like OP is just exhausted and needs time to herself in general -- not sure if a vacation will do the trick, but it doesn't hurt for her to start thinking about how she can get her sense of self back.  There is NOTHING selfish about a mom of three small kids doing the things she needs to do to keep herself mentally and spiritually healthy.  In fact what is selfish is to ignore her own needs, because that is precisely what will interfere with good parenting.  [/quote]

Well... I'm a mother, too, and I think it depends a little bit on your child. While it's true overall that they don't start going through separation anxiety until they're a little bit older, and usually 18 months is a peak with several other peaks thereafter, I do think some infants notice and are happier with some caregivers than others. My first definitely just had a kind of bored/skeptical look on his face if he wasn't very into the person whereas if he liked the person he went down easily for naps and giggled a lot.  Same thing now, really, he has better chemistry with some than others.

Also, I don't think framing this as selfish vs unselfish is that helpful. A selfish choice can be healthy, and sometimes a selfish choice can be unhealthy. It depends on a lot of other things which is what I think PP are trying to get at.

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