Reply to What do you think of leaving a 2-3 month old behind so you can travel?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Eh -- a lot of people have to go back to work insanely early, like even 6 weeks.   The baby will be fine if your parents are willing to do it.   You'll be with her at home for the whole rest of the time.   
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OP here. When I toured daycares with my first, I saw babies as young as 6 weeks at daycare. I genuinely felt bad and sorry for them. I guess my reasoning was many moms have to go back to work when kids are 3 months so I thought it may be ok to leave our same aged child for a few days for vacation.

We will not be booking anything until baby is born. We will see how things go. DH may book his flights with older kids and see if I and/or baby will also be going.[/quote]

Oh my goodness... where to start with this.

When you work, it's usually for 8 out of the 24 hours (OK, 9...factor in commute). 9 hrs at a time, five out of seven days of the week, is a very different separation than 168 at one go. A baby 2-3 months old is still in the 4th trimester and most moms find it really hard to take even that 9 hour separation. I'm not talking about the needs of the baby here, but about the symbiosis and where the mother usually is physiologically in that process of separation. Sure, everyone needs a few hours break here and there, but that's very different than taking a week away.

With work, you also have a very different choice to face.  Either you go back, or you lose your job and possibly your career, depending on the kind of work you do and how many on/off ramps there are. For moms who have decided that in the big picture it is better overall for their families if they work, it's a hard choice but it must be made.

You're talking about an elective beach vacation. Yes, spring break is coming up. So is summer vacation very shortly thereafter. You don't have one hard choice to make, you have many options, which is why I think you're getting the responses you are.  I personally think it sounds like the urgency in your case doesn't come from scheduling so much as a feeling of being overwhelmed, depressed, and resenting your own choice to bring another very dependent being into this world.

I work and have done trips away when baby was 4 months, have another one coming up when baby is 3 months.  I don't feel guilty.  But the main thing on my mind (since I cannot reschedule these conferences) is how to make my stay as short as possible, even if that means flying in and out the same day or whatever.  It's no joke to pump for all that time, to build a stash, etc. I know you said you don't want to be bothered about breastfeeding, and everyone has their reasons. But breastfeeding, among many other things, is also an emotional reminder of how often that baby needs you. Of course it's really hard, we all get that... you just sound so unhappy and it sounds like this vacation is an escape from dealing with your reality, not something that will actually help you address these feelings.  Good luck, I hope you get some help for yourself -- happy mother = happy baby.

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I am trying to find a solution where I can also go away for a short period of time except it isn't for work. It's still the same time away from the baby. You have to go for a work conference. I want to go away for the same time period. I'm ok with going for shorter duration than DH and older kids.

I used to have a demanding job before I stopped working. I know the feeling of wanting to get home to see my child as much as possible. I don't have that same feeling now that I am home full time. I have the opposite feeling of wanting to get a break as much as possible. I know I won't get much sympathy here but it is the exact same feeling in the opposite if that makes sense to anyone.[/quote]

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