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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have to correct one PP. Toby did NOT become a SAHD because Kate wanted to be a low paid TA. Toby lost his job and they had no money, so Kate applied for the TA job, so they would have SOME money coming in and so Jack would not have to drop out of the part-time pre-school he was in at the school.

That's when Toby became a SAHD. [b]It wasn't something he did to help Kate or the family;[/b] he did it because it was the only option if Kate was going to work. Somebody had to take care of Haley and it didn't make sense to hire a sitter given how little money Kate was making.

And Kate didn't initially apply for the job because she thought she'd enjoy it; she applied for the job because it was the only job she could get which would only be for the same hours Jack was in school.

Then Kate ended up liking the job and didn't want to quit. [/quote]

Right. Toby didn't become a SAHD for Kate. He was unemployed! He spent the whole time looking for a job! He did not stay at home by choice.[/quote]

I think you're responding to one of my earlier posts.  I didn't mean to imply that Toby became a SAHD [b]BECAUSE [/b]of Kate's job, so if that's what my post actually said, I misspoke.  I was trying to point out - perhaps unclearly - that he was a SAHD after he got laid off and when Kate could only find a job that paid very little, he had to go find a much better paying job.  They couldn't afford to live on Kate's salary even if Toby wanted to continue to be a SAHD (which he didn't because he hated it).  Kate was unable to provide financially for the family and so he was the one who had to find a better paying job.  He sacrificed time away from his family in order to provide for them.  And Kate now resents all of his efforts.

Also, I beg to differ with the bolded in your post.  Any parent staying at home IS helping their family.  Full stop. He sucked it up and did it because it made financial sense for all the reasons you pointed out.  I'm sure you wouldn't tell a SAHM that she isn't helping her DH or her family by staying at home, regardless of whether it was by choice.  :wink: [/quote]

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