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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm anti IVF because I think it's wasteful to spend tens of thousands of dollars on getting pregnant when there are already children here who need homes. But if you have the money, it's your body, your family, your life. Do what you want. [/quote]

Alright, I have to stick up for the IVF crowd (and I didn't even do IVF, so I have no dog in this fight).  For many fortunate people, their insurance pays for IVF or other fertility treatments, therefore they have very few costs to bear.  Of course, there are some people who must pay out of pocket, and yes, that can cost a lot.  Both domestic and international adoption is changing...the standard for a domestic one is open adoption (in whatever degree of openess) and the expectant mom picks the adoptive parents.  Of course, because the baby isn't born and relinquished yet, making her an expectant mom and not a birth mom at that point, she has the right to change her mind and decide to parent.  So btwn having an expectant mom pick you AND then have her actually decide to place...well, that can take a long time.  People can wait years.  With international adoption, many countries are closed or timelines, like Korea and China, are pretty slow.  Again, it could take years.  With either kind of adoption, it could take years or it could be quick.  It's not as straightforward and reliable as it used to be.

We adopted internationally and it was the right choice for us- no doubt about it.  However, I can completely understand why some people choose to pursue fertility treatments that could take less time and money than adoption.  I also understand that some people want a bio connection to their kids- I bet the great majority of people do even fertile people. Otherwise, you as a fertile person would've adopted and not had bio children, no?? Also, depending on mental health or physical health (or income), some people don't qualify for an international adoption.

I do wish that more people would consider adoption, but all you can ask is that they genuinely consider it, and if they decide for whatever reason it's not right for them, then that's good they considered and decided against it.  Personally, we did not pursue IVF for many reasons, but as long as people who do don't make derogatory remarks about adoption and adoptees, then I have no beef with IVF.

Signed, an adoptee and adoptive parent

[/quote]

I'm the PP you quoted. I haven't previously been bashing IVF and I don't have any weird ideas that women who can't get pregnant shouldn't because of evolution. I agree with you that adoption comes with its own issues and that it is not for everyone. What about people who buy a donor egg, donor sperm, and hire a surrogate? At that point, wouldn't it be better to just adopt a kid? [/quote]

I haven't been contributing to this conversation, but re: what you said about donor egg/sperm/uterus, yes, at that point, I think ART is going too far. At that point, it becomes manufacturing a specific child - why did you choose THOSE eggs and sperm? To get a baby that looked a particular way? (Obvious rhetorical question)[/quote]

You chose your spouse because, presumably, he or she looked a certan way and had certain characteristics.

But more importantly, it's obvsious you're totally ignorant about how IVF / ART works (not surprising, since most of the anti IVF people seem ignorant on many levels).  Most people choose sperm and/or eggs that most closely resemble THEM so that they won't have to face the contant judgment from people like you when their child looks totally different than either their mom and/or dad.  [/quote]

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