Reply to Mother of 2 from VERY prominent Richmond family arrested by FBI for child p@rn, exploitation, etc

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do people keep excusing her revolting actions due to mental illness? Maybe she is just warped and evil, no excuses for her. [/quote]

That's an interesting perspective on it. How I view it is . . . my brain needs to understand how something so horrible could happen. I don't buy that some people are just "warped and evil." I think some combination of brain development/chemistry and childhood experiences shaped them. Knowing the details helps me feel more calm and in control, like OK, this horrible thing happened, but we can see how she get from A to B. It may be a totally false sense of security in a chaotic world, but I think it's natural to want that touchstone. And to me [u]understanding[/u] what caused this in no way [u]excuses[/u] what happened. Those are two different issues. There are people who call themselves virtuous pedophiles . . . they are people who no matter what they try cannot help their attraction to children. However, they understand that acting on those feelings would cause harm, so they choose abstinence. Just because something is wrong with you doesn't mean you are exempt from needing to make good choices.

My 5th grader's long time BFF has turned very toxic over the last few years. Eventually this led to my DD requesting therapy, and the therapist explaining that something must have happened in BFF's life for her to act out these toxic cycles. My spouse was worried DD would hear that and then feel really bad about ending the relationship, but I said, oh no!!! She is relieved to hear that there is a "reason" that isn't "you didn't try hard enough to be this girl's friend." But it stood out to me that my husband's read on it was the opposite of my DD's and mine. I guess people's personalities play a role. My DD needed to be told that her ex-friend had been hurt in order to understand why she acted so terribly. [/quote]

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