Not to go back to an old point but how does responding to a specific picture request confirm that one is “safe” and presumably not LE. I don’t totally understand this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statute in VA is 20 years from date of offense, or 20 years after turning 18, so if she was sexually abused herself, no action is possible at 45, so she could not sue her family if the facts supported it either.

She is responsible for what she has done as an adult.

Her husband separating and filing for divorce as her MH deteriorated was the best of bad options to create a more stable situation for the children. It is the course often recommended on here when one parent is mentally ill. He is not responsible for her decline nor her illegal acts.

A farher is perfectly capable of establishing a stable home for his children without bringing in someone else to their home

There is no indication he was having a relationship with the second wife while married to Hoppe. Why shouldn't he be able to remarry? Y'all are whacked. So if someone is mentally ill and refuses treatment they should basically be able to hold other adults hostage to their illness? It seems better that the childen have 2 stable adults, hopefully they have bonded to their stepmother. Their mother is a pedo and will be in prison for a long time. Another caring adult can not only lend support to the ex-H but also the girls.

PP here. I in no way implied a relationship between father and new wife when married to Hoppe.

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep excusing her revolting actions due to mental illness? Maybe she is just warped and evil, no excuses for her.

That's an interesting perspective on it. How I view it is . . . my brain needs to understand how something so horrible could happen. I don't buy that some people are just "warped and evil." I think some combination of brain development/chemistry and childhood experiences shaped them. Knowing the details helps me feel more calm and in control, like OK, this horrible thing happened, but we can see how she get from A to B. It may be a totally false sense of security in a chaotic world, but I think it's natural to want that touchstone. And to me understanding what caused this in no way excuses what happened. Those are two different issues. There are people who call themselves virtuous pedophiles . . . they are people who no matter what they try cannot help their attraction to children. However, they understand that acting on those feelings would cause harm, so they choose abstinence. Just because something is wrong with you doesn't mean you are exempt from needing to make good choices.

My 5th grader's long time BFF has turned very toxic over the last few years. Eventually this led to my DD requesting therapy, and the therapist explaining that something must have happened in BFF's life for her to act out these toxic cycles. My spouse was worried DD would hear that and then feel really bad about ending the relationship, but I said, oh no!!! She is relieved to hear that there is a "reason" that isn't "you didn't try hard enough to be this girl's friend." But it stood out to me that my husband's read on it was the opposite of my DD's and mine. I guess people's personalities play a role. My DD needed to be told that her ex-friend had been hurt in order to understand why she acted so terribly.

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep excusing her revolting actions due to mental illness? Maybe she is just warped and evil, no excuses for her.

It's not an excuse but a likely partial explanation for the hypersexuality and extreme recklessness. Other pieces may be csa she experienced and/or drug use that amplified mental decline and risk taking. And yes, a degree of evil is likely too. Most likely, all of the above.

Her decline was well underway by 2018 when the separation occurred.

EHH has a lot of signs of csa, this is all just horrendous and grim. In earlier times she may well have been institutionalized far earlier in her mental decline.

Now, unless someone is an imminent threat to self or others it is true that it is all but impossible to compel an adult to get help or to compel them to remain compliant with treatment.

Why do people keep excusing her revolting actions due to mental illness? Maybe she is just warped and evil, no excuses for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her park arrest was in 2019 and he didn’t file for divorce until May 2020. In my opinion there is no way you can be married to someone this crazy and not know or at least suspect something is very off. Maybe he turned a blind eye and stayed for the money and legal connections and only filed for divorce when she became a liability to his career. Either way he needs to be looked into. If nothing else this seriously calls into question his judgment.

I'm pretty sure they separated in 2018, and in Virginia, if you have minor children, you have to be separated from your spouse for one year to get a no-fault divorce. At some point during their separation, she moved in with her parents in Richmond. That may have been around the time of her Oct. 2019 park incident since that took place in Chesterfield.

Joel (ex-H) filed for divorce in May 2020, but keep in mind the whole world basically shut down in March 2020, so I'm sure that led to a delay in filing and a delay in it being processed. Also, think back to what all of us were doing in 2020 - just trying to survive and get our kids through school so I can only imagine how he felt dealing with his girls and a crazy EHH.
And I believe he got engaged to his current wife in late 2021 and remarried in 2022.

I, regrettably, read the Statement of Facts doc on the Court Listener site because I know her and was just so in shock when I heard this story. It was all so very disturbing, but one of several things that stood out to me was this: Additionally, the website provided IP logs spanning from February 14, 2020, through February 26, 2023.

I wonder if the Feb. 14, 2020, date was the date she created the account on the site?? That's almost 3 years prior to her being caught, so who knows what kind of interaction she was having with others on that site over that time period. I bet there is a serious investigation going on right now to try to uncover so much more.

That's a very good, and heartbreaking, point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statute in VA is 20 years from date of offense, or 20 years after turning 18, so if she was sexually abused herself, no action is possible at 45, so she could not sue her family if the facts supported it either.

She is responsible for what she has done as an adult.

Her husband separating and filing for divorce as her MH deteriorated was the best of bad options to create a more stable situation for the children. It is the course often recommended on here when one parent is mentally ill. He is not responsible for her decline nor her illegal acts.

A farher is perfectly capable of establishing a stable home for his children without bringing in someone else to their home

There is no indication he was having a relationship with the second wife while married to Hoppe. Why shouldn't he be able to remarry? Y'all are whacked. So if someone is mentally ill and refuses treatment they should basically be able to hold other adults hostage to their illness? It seems better that the childen have 2 stable adults, hopefully they have bonded to their stepmother. Their mother is a pedo and will be in prison for a long time. Another caring adult can not only lend support to the ex-H but also the girls.

This! You are 100% right!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statute in VA is 20 years from date of offense, or 20 years after turning 18, so if she was sexually abused herself, no action is possible at 45, so she could not sue her family if the facts supported it either.

She is responsible for what she has done as an adult.

Her husband separating and filing for divorce as her MH deteriorated was the best of bad options to create a more stable situation for the children. It is the course often recommended on here when one parent is mentally ill. He is not responsible for her decline nor her illegal acts.

A farher is perfectly capable of establishing a stable home for his children without bringing in someone else to their home

There is no indication he was having a relationship with the second wife while married to Hoppe. Why shouldn't he be able to remarry? Y'all are whacked. So if someone is mentally ill and refuses treatment they should basically be able to hold other adults hostage to their illness? It seems better that the childen have 2 stable adults, hopefully they have bonded to their stepmother. Their mother is a pedo and will be in prison for a long time. Another caring adult can not only lend support to the ex-H but also the girls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her park arrest was in 2019 and he didn’t file for divorce until May 2020. In my opinion there is no way you can be married to someone this crazy and not know or at least suspect something is very off. Maybe he turned a blind eye and stayed for the money and legal connections and only filed for divorce when she became a liability to his career. Either way he needs to be looked into. If nothing else this seriously calls into question his judgment.

He may have been staying to try to shield the kids. He is remarried so maybe he met the second wife and filed.

Someone posted that they had been separated, doesn't VA require a year before filing? So may have split @ time of arrest.

While he was dating and forming a new relationship and getting remarried -- all of which occupy one's free time -- it may have accelerated her deterioration.

After nude sex with a rando in a park seems like her deterioration was well underway?

PP here. Not disagreeing with what you wrote, but I still think could have accelerated her mental deterioration.

What better options did he have? It is likely that she was erratic and acting out sexually (hopefully with adults!) and refusing treatment. So what would you have had him do?

Isn't it better for the children that he formed a more stable family unit for them? It does seem likely that as PP have indicated, she has had little contact with the kids in recent years.

Are you seriously suggesting that had he stayed in the marriage she would have been a stable person? When her untreated mental illness likely was what ended the marriage?

Anonymous wrote:The statute in VA is 20 years from date of offense, or 20 years after turning 18, so if she was sexually abused herself, no action is possible at 45, so she could not sue her family if the facts supported it either.

She is responsible for what she has done as an adult.

Her husband separating and filing for divorce as her MH deteriorated was the best of bad options to create a more stable situation for the children. It is the course often recommended on here when one parent is mentally ill. He is not responsible for her decline nor her illegal acts.

A farher is perfectly capable of establishing a stable home for his children without bringing in someone else to their home

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her park arrest was in 2019 and he didn’t file for divorce until May 2020. In my opinion there is no way you can be married to someone this crazy and not know or at least suspect something is very off. Maybe he turned a blind eye and stayed for the money and legal connections and only filed for divorce when she became a liability to his career. Either way he needs to be looked into. If nothing else this seriously calls into question his judgment.

He may have been staying to try to shield the kids. He is remarried so maybe he met the second wife and filed.

Someone posted that they had been separated, doesn't VA require a year before filing? So may have split @ time of arrest.

While he was dating and forming a new relationship and getting remarried -- all of which occupy one's free time -- it may have accelerated her deterioration.

After nude sex with a rando in a park seems like her deterioration was well underway?

PP here. Not disagreeing with what you wrote, but I still think could have accelerated her mental deterioration.

The statute in VA is 20 years from date of offense, or 20 years after turning 18, so if she was sexually abused herself, no action is possible at 45, so she could not sue her family if the facts supported it either.

She is responsible for what she has done as an adult.

Her husband separating and filing for divorce as her MH deteriorated was the best of bad options to create a more stable situation for the children. It is the course often recommended on here when one parent is mentally ill. He is not responsible for her decline nor her illegal acts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone on this board must work for CNN or WaPo. Let’s get on this people.

This thread of the discussion is getting boring. It's too extreme. Many wish they had not read the charging docs or even the article. It's something people will avoid tuning in to see and that children might see it, even with warnings. Won't get media attention.

Those thinking her family could sue media, on what grounds? The facts are laid out by the FBI not an investigative reporter.

Crimes against children are rarely covered, this one is likely to remain that way.

Raising awareness could be a benefit, maybe a dateline type story once she is convicted.

I agree that the details are too awful to read. I did not read the charging documents myself. But a story with her name, very general description of the charges, organizations she volunteered with, her law firm/judge connections, etc. are absolutely newsworthy. Nobody wanted to read the details of the Mom who killed her children in Massachusetts but that was plastered all over the news. The lack of news attention is extremely suspicious and a disservice to victims who might be out there and would potentially have a lawsuit against her family if they covered for her behavior.

I do not believe any lawsuit against her family could be successful.

Not so sure. Who knows what was going on in that family and what they knew/covered up.

Can you cite a single example of such a civil action?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her park arrest was in 2019 and he didn’t file for divorce until May 2020. In my opinion there is no way you can be married to someone this crazy and not know or at least suspect something is very off. Maybe he turned a blind eye and stayed for the money and legal connections and only filed for divorce when she became a liability to his career. Either way he needs to be looked into. If nothing else this seriously calls into question his judgment.

I'm pretty sure they separated in 2018, and in Virginia, if you have minor children, you have to be separated from your spouse for one year to get a no-fault divorce. At some point during their separation, she moved in with her parents in Richmond. That may have been around the time of her Oct. 2019 park incident since that took place in Chesterfield.

Joel (ex-H) filed for divorce in May 2020, but keep in mind the whole world basically shut down in March 2020, so I'm sure that led to a delay in filing and a delay in it being processed. Also, think back to what all of us were doing in 2020 - just trying to survive and get our kids through school so I can only imagine how he felt dealing with his girls and a crazy EHH.
And I believe he got engaged to his current wife in late 2021 and remarried in 2022.

I, regrettably, read the Statement of Facts doc on the Court Listener site because I know her and was just so in shock when I heard this story. It was all so very disturbing, but one of several things that stood out to me was this: Additionally, the website provided IP logs spanning from February 14, 2020, through February 26, 2023.

I wonder if the Feb. 14, 2020, date was the date she created the account on the site?? That's almost 3 years prior to her being caught, so who knows what kind of interaction she was having with others on that site over that time period. I bet there is a serious investigation going on right now to try to uncover so much more.

Thanks for this drill down on dates.