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[quote=Anonymous]Is your wife happy OP? Does she feel whole and complete? Is there something she wants in her life that for whatever reason has been lacking during this phase?

In my experience men seem to have a much easier time asking for and making time / space for the things they need, and women really struggle to do this.  We have a hard time being 'selfish' and putting our own needs first, and then we get tapped out and unhappy and are less pleasant to be around for everyone involved.

My husband always claims he wants me to be happy, and I sometimes struggle to believe him because there are all these examples in our life together where he made a choice that was better for him than for me.  However when I finally reached the end of my rope and said 'I need X' he was 100% supportive. So he does want me to be happy, it's just that he needs me to identify what I need and proactively ask for it, and it took me a long time to get to a place where I was comfortable doing that.  I basically had to get pretty close to done before I got to the point where it was OK in my own head to ask for what I need.

So long story short: can you push your wife to identify what she truly needs to feel happy and complete and then push her to follow through and do that? Basically take away any excuses for why she can't take the time / money / etc. for herself and give her permission to be selfish in that way?

If you do this and she's like me, it will rejuvenate her and your whole relationship.  If you do it and it doesn't work, you'll be able to figure out next steps knowing you truly did everything you could to make the relationship work / to support her.[/quote]

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