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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After a long and varied pre-marriage sex life, I've come to a sad conclusion that bad lovers aren't trainable.  I mean, you can probably teach them a few tricks and with luck, they will become a little better, but they will never be as good as a naturally good lover. [b]Some men just are very much into exploring and pleasing women, [/b]and some are not.  It's like a fine palate or taste for music.  If you don't have one naturally, you can become a little better, but never as good as someone who is naturally inclined that way.  We all gravitate to things we love, when we do it often, we become better, and it's a self-feeding virtuous circle. This is why good lovers are naturally good.  [/quote]

This.  My husband has many great qualities but he's simply not good in bed.  He doesn't have an innate desire to explore my body and please me.  He isn't adventurous in bed.  He's not up for having sex in places outside of our home or really even our bedroom.  It took me a while to figure it out.  I'm actually not even that sure he is attracted to me.  I'm not going to be able to change him so I've accepted it.  I do get concerned I'm going to lose it in my 40s and have an affair.  I crave that desire and ability to please. [/quote]

I was you. My husband isn't comfortable with giving me oral, and I can't O any other way. Once I realized that, I went outside the marriage.  Extramarital relations are totally against my religion and, formerly, my own personal code. But my lover is happily married, in all but the sex department, so he and I are a good match. I truly don't see the need to divorce because my husband and I are not sexually compatible. It's been over 3 years now and I am so much less frustrated and unhappy.[/quote]

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