Reply to No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - surprise party edition

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, a 70 year old woman is supposed to be HAPPY and THRILLED that you're throwing a party for her at a restaurant she doesn't want to go to, and not listening to any of her other preferences?

Is this a party for your mother, or for you, OP?  Or is it just some huge passive aggressive "payback" by you to your mother?

You sound like you don't really like her.  In fact, you sound like you hate her.[/quote]

I think you're reading way too much malice into the daughter's motivation here.  What kind of parent would want their child to overspend when throwing a party?  Seems selfish of the parent to value having things just so over the financial well-being of their child.

It may be too late for a middle ground here. It depends on how much time is left before the party.  The venue is booked, and the deposits are probably not refundable. The invitations have gone out and all the guests have already responded.  Obviously the guests that are coming are not offended by the choice of venue -- they said yes after all.

I would tell Mom and her blabby friend the party is cancelled.  But don't cancel the party.  Refuse to talk about it with her any more.  If there is anything she wants like an fancy ice sculpture or food that you can still incorporate into the party, add that.  Then take Mom for a ride the day of her party and stop in to the restaurant  to pick up "a refund check."  I think she'll end up enjoying herself.  Oh, and maybe get someone else to offer the blabby friend a ride an hour before the party.  If she can't make it on such short notice  -- too bad.[/quote]

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