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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you keep minimizing what you did with the other woman. If it was enough to make your wife want to divorce you, you need to stop minimizing and rationalizing. When you minimalize your actions that cause someone that much pain, you're minimalizing that person, giving the message that their feelings are not valid, that you don't really care. And that's why she has good reason not to believe you're sincere or that you really care.

And you are a scorekeeper. Do you really want to go down that path keeping score against the woman who literally grew and birthed the baby? Scorekeeping is always a great way to sabotage a marriage and kill off love.

You sound entitled. Like, I helped with our baby, so I deserve some escape, in a form that involves lying, cheating, and hurting my wife.

And your underlying tone involves trying to blame her. She didn't give you enough attention at the most demanding phase of life, she didn't spend time sexting you. She didn't thank you for everything you did. So on some level you feel it's partly her fault you did what you did.

You didn't handle things very well, and your immaturity and selfishness and need for immediate gratification won out over doing the right things and putting your wife and child first. So you're human and you made a mistake. Own it, redeem yourself, change your attitudes, grow up. These are things that will be good for you to do, regardless of whether your wife stays or not.

If you really are doing as much as you think you are, I wouldn't think she'd be so ready to divorce you, because you'd be indispensable. Maybe she feels she can manage fine without you, and you don't do as much as you think, and you're like another child. Or maybe what you did hurt her so much, and she finds that the loss of trust is so unbearable, that she just can't tolerate staying. You hear people say it all the time, that if their partner cheated, they wouldn't be able to get over it.

Just staying and trying to move forward and heal is all the work she should feel she has to put into this right now. Time does help with healing. [/quote]

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