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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just had my yearly gathering with 6 friends from college. 
They live throughout the country: Maine, New Hampshire, Bellevue WA, Albany NY etc. 
Each of them has a graduate degree. 
However, I'm the only one who works full time and the rest are pretty determined to never work 
full time again.  They have kids and they don't want the stress of having two spouses both working. 
However, I work full time primarily because I'm paranoid about not having enough saved for retirement. 
I'd also like to pay for my kids to go to college. 
My husband probably makes three times what any of their husbands does and yet I'm the one most worried about money.

I wonder though, am I just a victim of my surroundings here in DC?  The ones that says "you can never save enough 
for college or retirement! You must scrimp and save and work hard.  You must have a net work that spins 
off $250K a year for 30 years in retirement.  You must be able to pay cash for a decade of nursing home care later in life.  You must be 
able to fund your kids' college educations".

My friends elsewhere seem to be quite at peace with maybe saving $18K a year into a 401K.  If that.  They are enjoying 
a much quieter and easier life in the here and now.  They trust that their kids will go to state schools for college or (other colleges
that give scholarships) and will get scholarships for top grad schools (because that is what they themselves did and it worked out very well).

Can anyone else relate?
I feel like I've bought in to the NW DC hamster wheel mentality and I wonder if it's necessary.  [/quote]

While I don't live in Northern Virginia anymore, I will say that I am/was more like your friends in other places than I am like you. So, I do think there are some of your friends' types in DC-land. Being a SAHM, I probably saw more of them than I did of high-powered two career couple families. But I agree that part of living in the DC area or other competitive, high-income places is the pressure to do more, make more, get into the best college, get the high-powered job, etc. Those areas also attract a lot of Type-A personalities that are suited to that lifestyle.

I, however, am Type-B and don't feel like I need the best of everything or even the best of anything. Don't get me wrong, we are saving for retirement, and we plan to pay for our kids' college educations - hopefully in-state schools. But after quitting my job after kid number 3, I, too, am pretty much done working in the corporate world. And I, too, have a graduate degree. Life is hectic enough taking care of a household, 3 kids, and a dog, handling the finances, planning our vacations, cooking dinner each night, etc. is enough. I'd rather stay at a Hampton Inn and not work than stay at the Ritz Carlton and work, if that makes sense.  My husband made $120K when we left the DC area 5 years ago, which many people on DCUM think is hardly anything. But when you're not paying daycare or needing to commute or buy work clothes, it's not that bad. And we still managed to do the big things - saved for retirement and saved for college. But in order to be a SAHM, we lived in an old 1950s ranch house, shopped at discount stores and thrift stores, kids went to public schools, and will probably go to public colleges. We now moved to an area that has a lower cost of living, but truthfully, we just got a bigger, newer house than our small ranch in NoOVA, so our cost of living hasn't really gone down, and our lifestyle is the same. That lifestyle is/was good enough for me both in the DC area and outside it. I know it's not for everyone, though.[/quote]

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