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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The ex wife all up and down this thread is going to be in for a shock when the divorce decree is signed and her husband tells her rules to fuck off. He's going along NOW of course but as soon as those "amicably" drawn up terms are legal and binding he's going to do whatever he wants whether you care or not. [/quote] Our current agreement is legally binding. I just give him more visitation than he is allowed. He can legally get more so the court can't order me to let him hang out at our pool on the weekends when I go to run errands. He is more than welcome to do what he pleases. If he wants no relationship with me, I have no problem with drop off and pick up at the curb... If that is what he wants. You don't see me parading men in front of his children. Of course I don't do that and he would not be happy if I did.. Children first. I get every other weekend to myself and I don't need to expose my children to men and he does not need to expose his children to women who are crazy. Oh imagine if I had dudes sleeping over with his daughter walks around like teens do ... He would be out of his mind.[/quote] Speaking of being out of one's mind. . . I actually don't just mean this to be a jerk. Are you seeing a therapist? You really do seem like you need professional help. I am not saying this to be an asshole.[/quote] I saw a therapist at first... Don't we all. Both his and my therapist said I was very stable, mindful, and know what I want and don't settle for people treating me badly.they both wish they could teach more people self reliance, kind to their cheating ex, and putting their kids before their own needs. I see a family therapist since my H is a mess and needs intense therapy. They advise me on how to help the kids deal with somebody who takes a perfect home life and marriage and blow it up. He can be controlling and critical of the kids. Used to be aloof ... Now he treasure every moment. Funny how you don't know how good you have it until you throw it away. It's very common for people with horrible childhoods to not enjoy a successful homelike and to purposely try to destroy it.... So I have found out from his family therapis. I have empathy for anybody that was raised in a neglectful and chaotic home life. But, my H should have gotten help as a young man instead of bring his turmoil into my life and our kids lives. Unfortunately ... Most people think their home life was normal. His therapists expects he will need therapy for 5+ years. He has been going 2x a week for 6 months. He was going once a week for a year. You think I am crazy. I think I am kind. So do the therapists. It's true most women just forge a wedge between the kids and the dad and make times they see each other uncomfortable. I am not doing that to my children. I sure as hell hope he can be a healthy human being and once the kids are gone he will go on with his life away from me, geez... I could use some space now but I want my kids to love their father... The more healthy and positive interactions they have the better the bond. [/quote]
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