Reply to Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it

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Reply to "Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need a plan.

My H had an affair, and we are divorcing, but we are amicable... but with that comes rules. OW is done... no contact.

We have mutual friends and my H had to go to a work event and she could possibly be there. So we had a plan. If she shows up he leaves, no hi, no glance, just leave. When her friends started to show up, he left.

So you can't control him but your W has to tell you and you have to remain calm or she will stop telling you things.

[/quote]

This is so strange. You're trying to control your STBX's behavior around this other woman? Dafuq? So inappropriate.[/quote]

Hahahahahahahah.... Control? Grow up. Nobody has the right to be in my life. Telling people how you want to be treated = inappropriate... In your delusional world... I have every right to express how I want to be treated. I have every right to cut him off 100% if I am not treated the way I expect. I have no problem dumping toxic people from my life.  He has every right to choose her over us, good luck with that. You think the kids respect you? Want to be around that? No!

Having affair.... Is what? Appropriate?

GMAFB.... Do the crime, do the time?[/quote]

Way to make this thread all about yourself. You sound like a real peach. I'm happy and excited for your soon to be ex husband because soon you will be nothing to him, without control over every aspect of his life. It must really suck going through life miserable and nasty, with your only happiness coming from making other people miserable too.

Back to the OP, please don't "lose it." This won't help your relationship and the attempts the two of you are making to restore it. It will only set you back. Like other have said, you can't control what the AP does. It's how she handles any contact that is important. Stay focused. [/quote]

Nice try ... i don't control his life he can do what he please... And what pleases him is being around me and our children. He won't be married to me but if he wants to be part of our life he is welcome but not with crazy people. I actually have suggested a few nice chicks for him to date, but he not there yet, didn't really expect divorce... Thought I would stay. [b]Hope he finds a nice, respectable woman who has morals. She is welcome to the pool too.[/quote][/b]

Good for you, PP.  I personally think that is a reasonable line to draw.[/quote]

Same here, but I do think she needs to date and find someone much better.  [/quote]

And work on her anger, for her own sake.  Though unlike some on this board, I think it's understandable.  She's giving him more visitation than he's entitled so long as he gives her what she needs.  Understandable since he and the OW blew up her family.  It doesn't sound like much time has passed.  Her feelings will ease, and there's nothing wrong with wanting an ex DH to bring a nice woman around you and your kids.  She's stuck dealing with him unfortunately.[/quote]

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