Reply to Two Parents WOH Full-Time No Local Famiily -- Show of hands

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How high of a mortgage are you talking?  One option is to downsize--lots of options open up when you don't have a huge mortgage. One person can stay home, work PT etc. It makes a huge difference in quality of life. [/quote]

But we are not asking for examples of how people SAH or go PT: we wanted to know what people who are doing our same plan (two FT WOH jobs, no family/nanny) are swinging it?  Are we outliers or all everyone feels in this mad shuffle like us? ANd if not: tips :) Suggestions to move and go SAH/PT are not really the direction we are leaning unless really have to.[/quote]

Are you outliers?  No.  People do this all the time.  DH and I both WOH FT.  Nearest family is 5+ hours away.

Have you created a safety net of childcare to replace family.  Do you have a list of at least 3 babysitters you can call?  Is at least one of them a high school student who would also be off on random snow days, teacher work days, etc.?

Establishing boundaries also makes a huge difference.  Is your job really so critical that you just have to be online in the evenings or weekends?  It's doubtful that's the case.  If you leave work at the door then you'll find that your home life is much less hectic.

FWIW, I'm an attorney.  My clients know that I'm not available in the evenings or weekends unless we have prearranged something.  They know that my computer is shut down on Friday evening and not opened back up again until Monday morning.  I disabled work emails from my phone.  In my 15 years of practice, I have lost one client because they wanted someone to talk to on the weekends.  That's it.  There might be some grumbling and complaining, but in general people will respect your boundaries.  You just have to put them up and enforce them.  [/quote]

Well, that's great for you, but not everyone has the seniority or ability to put up those boundaries and "enforce them." I imagine you don't work at a large law firm, or if you do, you are not an associate. Not every attorney or profession has the flexibility to go offline. Is everyone's job so critical they have to be online on weekends or evenings? Nope! Do most bosses or supervisors understand that? Some do, some don't, and the underling's quality of life can vary dramatically depending on how the person above them views down-time.

Also, there's a big difference between having family 5+ hours away by car or by airplane. My family is a 6 hour flight away - not exactly a day or afternoon trip that 5 hours by car affords.

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