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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem is the way OP presented the case. She set her family as priority by establishing their trip as a prior commitment. The IL's do this every year. The fourth is not a surprise to anyone and there is ample time to plan. Of course she should skip it and probably from now on too. What she shouldn't do is want the celebration, which includes others, moved to accommodate her desire to save vacation time for her family. What she is really asking is "my family is more important than his, right?" The answer is that you spend your vacation time as you please and you acknowledge that you cannot go to every event. [/quote]

OP here. *I never asked for the event to be moved. My husband did. Without even asking me, because it seemed to him such an obvious solution.*

And yeah, the fourth is not a surprise. But my pregnancy and maternity leave weren't exactly timed with a BBQ in mind!

Also, even calling it a party is a bit of a stretch. "having local family over to grill out" is more like it.

We are going to go, but leave at 2 p.m. Thus, we will only see the extended family very briefly. MIL isn't thrilled, but whatever. If she had a BBQ on the third, or even made it a breakfast/brunch on the Fourth, she'd get to show of her new grandchild more. Oh well!

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