Reply to 2nd grade girl drama - start with teacher or counselor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are you kids? Can't they work it out themselves? Why do you need to be involved?[/quote]

Why is it wrong to want to help your kid? I see this all the time on dcum and I don't understand. [/quote]

I don't get this either. If my daughter came to me for help, of course I would try to help her!  On the other hand, if she would rather try to handle it herself, I'd support her in that, too -- I would try to strategize with her on how to handle it, but would stand back.

I saw this on the playground over the weekend  -- a toddler was trying to climb down from something, got stuck, and was crying for mommy. The mom just stood there and kept saying, "You can do it!" Uh no, she couldn't, that's why she was crying and stuck. If your kid asks you for help and you refuse to give it, you're just teaching her that when she needs you, you won't be there for her. That's something I certainly don't want to teach my kids.[/quote]

These are the same people who are not affected by their own babies wailing at night when they do CIO. [/quote]

LOL. I'm the biggest co-sleeper out there but I also very much let my kids be as independent as they can, especially at the playground. I spot my kids at the playground if they are climbing high, but otherwise I let them work it out themselves. They are learning how to move their bodies and judge distances/heights. They are learning how to fall - and get back up. You have to know your kids too. My DD2 is very athletic and capable but when she gets tired/hungry she whines that she can't do really basic things. So I tell her "you can do it!" and sure enough she can. I would be doing her an injustice if I caved every time she asked for help.

So maybe the playground mom has seen her kid do it before. Maybe she is encouraging her to stretch herself to test her limits. Who knows. She wasn't ignoring her child, she was letting her navigate the playground herself.

Your job isn't to help your kids, it's to encourage them to learn how to help themselves. 
[/quote]

Those are completely different examples -- not at all what we are discussing![/quote]

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