Reply to 2nd grade girl drama - start with teacher or counselor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are you kids? Can't they work it out themselves? Why do you need to be involved?[/quote]

Why is it wrong to want to help your kid? I see this all the time on dcum and I don't understand. [/quote]

I don't get this either. If my daughter came to me for help, of course I would try to help her!  On the other hand, if she would rather try to handle it herself, I'd support her in that, too -- I would try to strategize with her on how to handle it, but would stand back.

I saw this on the playground over the weekend  -- a toddler was trying to climb down from something, got stuck, and was crying for mommy. The mom just stood there and kept saying, "You can do it!" Uh no, she couldn't, that's why she was crying and stuck. If your kid asks you for help and you refuse to give it, you're just teaching her that when she needs you, you won't be there for her. That's something I certainly don't want to teach my kids.[/quote]

These are the same people who are not affected by their own babies wailing at night when they do CIO. [/quote]

Those are three totally separate situations.  Teaching a child independence needs to be age-appropriate.  Some kids do well with CIO, some don't.  Some toddlers cry to try to manipulate and make the parent do what they want, btdt, but if the parent doesn't back down unless the child is actually in need of help, they learn to be more independent.  A second grader is old enough to learn to talk to the teacher for herself rather than running to her mother to make her mother take care of it for her.[/quote]

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