Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - I don't agree he's not willing to work on it, they did for a long time but the "work" didn't work

Kids are 8 and 6

We have been dating 6 mo, not ready to move in or anything, but serious enough to start spending time with his kids and move beyond compartmentalized dating.  Don't want to take that step though if long term marriage doesn't seem doable which is why I'm asking the question now[/quote]

I don't think 6 months is that long at all and no you really don't need to involve the kids at this point. Wait a few more months, closer to the 1 year mark.

I have seen many divorced parents who really just don't want to be single parents rush into another relationship and push to create a family again as soon as possible often believing this will make things better for the kids. It doesn't.

At this point, you should absolutely know what his visitation schedule is with the kids and be able to determine how much time he spends with them. Make sure he spends that time with his kids, focusing on his kids.

Another things to consider is that as kids get older custody arrangements may change and kids may not be so keen to do the 50/50 arrangement and may prefer to spend more of their time at one home. So how things work right now might change in a few years/[/quote]

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