Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]You will always be 3rd in line with getting a say about the kids.  Even if you are the best parent of the 3.  I have watched a friend go through this, and it's incredibly hard.  Her step-son was 5 when they married.  He's now a teen.  They have two more kids.  Because of a unstable environment with his mother (not bad enough to keep him away, but no rules, no homework, no organization, no extras) he is A MESS NOW.  A MESS.  He was really sweet and cute when they got married.  Now he is a master at playing his parents against each other to get what he wants.  His father feels bad, so gives in.  My friend has been through the wringer trying to fight for this kid and at some point just threw up her hands.  She was fighting both his parents and it was tough.  She had two kids of her own to worry about.

Now she is watching him flail and it's hard for her.  She's angry about it, but fed up with dealing with him.  It's been hard on her marriage.  It is not the rosy step-family she thought it would be when they got married.[/quote]

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