Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - I don't agree he's not willing to work on it, they did for a long time but the "work" didn't work

Kids are 8 and 6

[b]We have been dating 6 mo[/b], not ready to move in or anything, but serious enough to start spending time with his kids and move beyond compartmentalized dating.  Don't want to take that step though if long term marriage doesn't seem doable which is why I'm asking the question now[/quote]

It is doable, of course. I just don't understand why a woman would do this to herself. Are you absolutely positively sure he is your only viable option for a family? [/quote]

Honestly, OP, the biggest thing you need to figure out is what you expect in a marriage. If you don't have a clear, clear idea of this, don't bother getting more serious because it will be impossible to align your needs with the static needs of your boyfriend's children. It will be impossible, OP. Right now, it doesn't seem clear exactly what kind of marriage you want (and I read the whole long thread). Because the draw backs are obvious and well stated in the thread. Are you willing to accept these for this guy? What do YOU want in a marriage OP. Figure that out and then see if it aligns with the step parent life.[/quote]

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