Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No of course he's not.  I love him very much and we are a much better match for each other than our first spouses and I want to be with him.  But neither of us have experienced the family aspect yet, that's why I'm trying to get a realistic picture of what that will be so I can decide if I can/want to do it[/quote]

Don't let the naysayers themselves scare you off.   I'm the PP who's been married a long time and who's happy.   I think the big things for ANY marriage are mental health and relationship skills.   Are you both mentally healthy?  Do you both have generally good self esteem?  What is your arguing style? Do you both manage anger well?    Do you know why your first marriage failed, and have you worked through that?  Does he know why his first marriage failed, and has he worked through that?   Do you both have patience?   Can you both be flexible?    Nobody is doing drugs.  Nobody is drinking inappropriately.    Both are responsible people who do well at their jobs, meet their family obligations, etc.

Those are the types of red flags to look for.  [/quote]

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