Reply to I don't want to be a SAHM but feel like I have no other option

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Reply to "I don't want to be a SAHM but feel like I have no other option"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP:

I work full time (out of the home, though I do work from home on occasion) and have a 3 year old. I know exactly what you're dealing with. I went through a similar completely overwhelmed phase.

A couple things:

1) I made a list of all the things that were on my plate (groceries, laundry, appointment making, cooking dinner, etc.) the list was endless. Then next to it I made a list of what my husband was responsible for (basically going to work and taking the trash cans down to the curb one a week. I showed this list to my husband - the visual helps in having a conversation like this - and asked him how we could even out the responsibilities because I was losing my mind. Once he saw how egregious the inequity was, he stepped up to take on more. Now if I cook, he cleans up. I assign him appointments that need to be made and he's now in charge of booking home maintenance work with the handyman or other professionals. He also finally split daycare dropoff/pick-up with me too - which was crazy that we weren't doing this before.

2) Outsource the hell out of things right now. I leaned on Instacart/Peapod....I also filled my freezer with prepped and ready meals from EverSpoon for nights when I didn't have it together and got a farm share delivery. I found a service that picks up/drops off dry cleaning - I just needed to leave the bag on the porch, I don't shop in stores much anymore - Amazon is my savior. I also asked my cleaning lady if she would do the laundry for some extra money on the day that she came, It's time to let yourself get the help you need. It's ok to outsource.

3) Plan some time for YOU. Whether it's every Saturday morning your husband takes your DC somewhere so you can sleep, read, go get a mani/pedi or have brunch with a friend - schedule some time for you. It also helps to schedule some time for you and your husband - get a deck of sitters lined up so you have them in your pocket. Use them to take a girls night out with some friends too. You need some things to look forward to.

Anyway - I hope that some of this helps. Things have gotten better for me since I've given myself permission to ask for and demand help. I've been there and totally empathize with trying to keep all the balls in the air and having others give you grief telling you it should be easy. They are full of shit, it's not easy. Be kind to yourself and tune them out. Do what you have to do to have some peace of mind.[/quote]

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