Reply to BIL and SIL are chronically late (at least 1 hour or more)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the useful advice. I guess part of the problem is that DH's family is very patriarchal and since BIL is the oldest son, [b]no one is allowed [/b]or bothers to ever say anything. The middle brother is a bit more fiesty and on occasion has said "hey not cool for making is wait" but it falls on deaf ears.

The huge problem is when there's an even (religious or otherwise) and we can't start until they arrive. They were 2 hours late for my older kids religious ritual (our version of a baptism) and we [b]couldn't[/b] start without them. And my child was only 4 weeks at the time. We all sat there and waited - all dressed up (including the baby) and had a house full of guests. Not to mention lunch was served incredibly late.

It's very frustrating and I'm labeled as the difficult one if I mention anything to my DH or inlaws. But they are sure to be on time for their kids' performances and recitals. That I cannot understand. [/quote]

You are allowed to say whatever you want.  You can start without them.  You and your husband choose not to because you are afraid of the blowback.  I would have started the event.  I would have said, "Well, they aren't here, but we can't keep the officiant waiting and the food is going to get cold."  Let them protest and bitch and moan.  You can either deal with the chronic lateness in a way that avoid inconveniencing everyone else and minimizes your resentment, or you can avoid making anyone upset with you.  You can't do both.

And when it's not an event, just act the way you would if they had not been invited at all.  I have an aunt who is chronically late to things, including every holiday meal and my wedding.  We just start everything without her.  If she shows up to Thanksgiving dinner three hours late without any advance notice, we've already eaten.

And your in-laws are on time for other stuff because there are consequences if there are not that are more serious than people being annoyed with them.  [/quote]

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