Reply to BIL and SIL are chronically late (at least 1 hour or more)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Keeping people from being mad should never be the goal when someone has not carried through on a commitment.  Any scenario.[/quote]

I don't think anyone has said that the goal is to keep the inconsiderate relatives from getting upset.  The goal is to keep OP from getting upset.  Walking that fine line between letting the relatives deal with the consequences (I.e. You weren't here when we started dinner so we ate) and purposely being petty/vindictive like not answering the door while home.  I have that conversation with my kids all the time ...we give the analogy how the 2nd player gets called for the foul even when the other person started it.  There are lots of life situations where you have to stand up for yourself but you have to figure out how to do it in a way that doesn't cause you more problems.  One component of that is getting control of your own anger first.

Everyone has been saying if the source of anger is being trapped for hours waiting ...don't sit there and wait and go about your business!  I realized the source of my anger was SIL was that she expects everyone to jump to her command and I was going along with it. Once I made the decision that I wasn't going to say how high and only go along when convenient for me to do it I took away her power to rile me up.  [/quote]

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