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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Knowing this culture, the guy doesn't mean you any harm but he is also completely clueless that he's being so obvious, and you need to match his level of un-subtlety to get through to him. Before escalating and complaining to others, the next time he stops by, tell him in a straightforward and neutral-bordering-on-cold tone that you've noticed how much he stares at you and his excessive visits and they are inappropriate and make you uncomfortable, but you wanted to let him know directly rather than complain and have a superior tell him. He should feel sufficiently embarrassed to stop. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

You should absolutely do this! Been there, done that.

And I will add that it may not be because of that culture - I used to be in grad school with a lot of nerdy guys from all over Asia, and the Indians and Pakistanis were charming and perfectly polite.

Anyway, my point is that this is probably a social communication disorder, instead of a cultural thing. Plenty of nerdy guys don't quite know how to control verbal and non-verbal cues, even though they understand how it works in theory. Simply put, some have them have Asperger's tendencies. My clueless super-geeky research scientist husband has had a few crushes on female co-workers at his workplace: I see it because he talks about them a lot when he first meets them, then after a few weeks, he stops talking about them. Nobody has ever had to be direct (I know the women he works with), like you will probably have to do. But they probably become a lot more busy when he's around, until he stops trying to have extra conversations with them.

That type of person will not be offended by your directness - because direct is the only communication they can understand easily. What confuses them is the convoluted diplomatic-speak we all use in public.

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