Reply to ILs seethe at our son's occasional bad behavior.

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP, but if you're youngest is 7, you don't have "three young children". By 7, a child is old enough to have good manners and not be disruptive when guests are present.

That said, I guess what is missing here is how your child, and you, handled the situation. If you have a policy in your house that allows a kid to make their own sandwich and opt out of the main dinner (and honestly, I think this is a pretty good idea in general), then I would expect the child to make the decision as dinner is being finished and before everyone is at the table. If that isn't possible and the kid realizes they won't eat what is being put out, then, as the dinner begins, the kid can quietly excuse himself and go make a sandwich while the dinner commences. As long as he does it quietly and independently and doesn't disrupt the meal, no problem.

However, if the kid makes a big deal about hating the meal after everyone is seated and the meal must come to a halt while he goes to make something he "liked" and if that takes a long time because maybe mom has to help him and the whole table is disrupted by this, then, yes, I would find his behavior rude and your parenting skills lacking.

Of course, as a guest in your home, I would never give you any indication I was annoyed by your kid's behavior. I would be gracious and patient, because to act otherwise would make me as rude as your kid. So, you'd never know it, but I would judge and have reservations about asking you all over to my house for dinner. (I would *not* have reservations if your kid was kind, subtle, and gracious about asking for a sandwich instead of the dinner I prepared.) Whether it's rude or not is all in the delivery.

For the record, I'm 43, so I'm not a MIL with grown kids who forgot what kids are like. [/quote]

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