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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my parents sometimes clearly seethe at my kids behavior. For example, before dinner, if my kid is very hungry, he can sometimes act up. It is clear to me that my parents want me to punish him--to yell, to spank him, or threaten, all the crappy shit they did. Well, I don't. I focus on fixing the problem (his hunger) by feeding him as quickly as possible. Later on I'll talk about his behavior with him. In his state of emotional turmoil/hunger he is not in a state to learn or discuss anything.

I have a relationship with my kid that my parents can only imagine. My child is not scared of me. We are very close. I don't he will ever lie to me the way I used to routinely lie to my parents. We have standards--don't hurt other people, don't be rude, respect other people and their things. But we are very casual. I am fine with him fixing himself something else to eat during a regular old family dinner.

Just totally ignore your in-laws. Just totally ignore them and parent the way you feel is right for your kid. They are rude to mutter but it would be rude for you as host to call them out on their rudeness. It may drive you crazy but enjoy the fact that all they can do is mutter and that you, actually, are your child's parent and know what is best for him. [/quote]

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