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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yeah it's a tough one. Can you let go of the[b] SAHM dream[/b]? Cause it is ulikely to happen with this guy. Can he stand up to his family? If not you will definitely resent him for it. What is his degree in? Does his earning potential justify his loans? I am all for love, but reality of life wears everyone out. You just really need to not be naive about your prospects.
- signed, someone who loves DH but resents ILs to the point of struggling to stay civil.[/quote]

[b]
Who said her dream is to SAH?[/b][i]

I would have a long discussion with him about what his expectations are for giving to his family in the long term.  Does he have any sort of "deal" with them?  Pay them x amount and that's it?  Is there a cap on how much he gives monthly?  I'd have to be very certain that he understands this is a big issue for me and we'd have to have a plan on how to wean that support, or keep it to a manageable level.  Perhaps some couples therapy on this topic would be money well spent.

OP, you mentioned that you're both saving for a wedding.  Please think twice about spending a substantial amount of money on a wedding and put that towards a house or something that will last for more than a few hours.  It sounds pragmatic and not very romantic but looking back I think you will be much more proud of yourself.

[/quote]

OP wrote,

[i]"In the back of my mind I always thought my dh would eventually support us."[/i]

OP, does your boyfriend know that this is what you want?  Does he agree with the idea of supporting you and future children?  If he does, how does he plan to put plans into place to make that happen?[/quote]

This is OP. We have talked about that. I do not want to SAHM forever but definitely for 3-4 years. He always says that he wants that for our family as well nor does he expect me to be the bread winner. My main concern is if he has a realistic expectation for our family decisions in the next few years. If we he is not earning much more by the time we have a child...I would definitely have to go to work immediately.[/quote]

You can't afford kids.  You already have two - his parents.

Marry him your life is fucked.  [/quote]

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