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[quote=Anonymous]You need to sit down and have a come to Jesus talk with him. You made it seem like he gives A LOT/most of his money to his parents/sister in the OP but then later you say you don't know how much he gives. You need numbers -- how much per yr is going to them? How much does he anticipate going forward? Do they have retirement savings? If not, does he intend to supplement beyond social security.

Reality is the numbers likely won't work in such a way you can buy a house, have a baby, and stay home for 3-4 yrs on just his 75k with him giving 5-10k to his family yearly.

If you're on the same page about loving each other and wanting to get married, then you need a plan for (i) how to up your HHI; and (ii) how to limit the expenditure on inlaws. While you may want it, the reality is he likely will not immediately stop giving the inlaws something overnight -- you may get him to reduce it over time. So my thought -- which won't be popular here -- he needs to get out of IR and go make some money in mgmt consulting. I get that middle eastern issues are hot and pay "well" but that is think tank or gov't/quasi gov't well. There's still more cash to be had in the private sector and being only 28 he can still get hired over there (that won't be the case if he is 32 and still in IR bc no firm will believe that he really wants to be there and can hack it, whereas a few yrs after a masters you can make an argument for switching careers). He can make much better money in consulting and with a few yrs of that even land himself a Fortune 500 gig. If you can't get buy in on increasing income OR decreasing help to inlaws -- I honestly think you should make it a very long engagement until you figure it out.[/quote]

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