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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Marrying a man with no means..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote]It's not the income or the student loan debt that is troubling. That can be dealt with, you are both young and together would make enough to pay that off and start some savings of your own if you wanted to. But he is supporting his parents at 28?! And they are healthy and choose not to work or live within their means (meaning his mom could work but chooses not to, you don't say what his dad does other than "bad investments" but plenty of people live off social security and do just fine living within that) That kind of situation is impossible to change when you are the new daughter in law and this is already the status quo. It will be years of stress and rifts while either you bite your tongue and accept your joint money is going to these people or deal with the fall out of them hating you and the impact on your husbands relationship with them and feelings towards you resulting if this stops. Picture yourself having a child and skimping on childcare, clothing, time with child so you can send your money to a woman that refuses to work. I don't see this ending well OP. Does your bf know this is not a good situation, does he give money happily, does he think it's ok his mom won't work? [/quote] This. I would not be worried about the current financial situation - his income right now is not surprising for someone his age, and together you could work to pay down loans. FWIW, my husband and I married at 27 and I had over $100k of law school debt, which we worked together to pay off (and did). The idea that he is supporting his parents is really troubling - I would definitely resent that, in light of the fact that his mother is fully capable of earning money herself. On the positive side, your fiance is clearly loyal, loving and values family relationships - all qualities that will make a great spouse and parent. He just needs to talk to his parents about his financial role in their lives and discontinuing it.[/quote]
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